About to be launched.
From 8 to Eighteen: a Poem and Processing Parenting My Teens With Grace.
It is that day that your first child becomes an adult. I had no idea how emotional this would be. My son Jay is such a gift and I am so thankful that God decided to allow him to join our family in 2016 through adoption.
Note: Jay was just featured with America’s Kids Belong advocating for adoption. So proud of this passion project that was watched by over 20,000 people between Instagram and Facebook. His video info stats were shared 230 times.
I wrote this poem to process my feelings about this big day and who Jay is becoming.
Poem from “Eight to 18.”
From 8 to Eighteen, oh how time flies,
It began with a wonder, and filled our surprise,
10 years ago, You were such a small child,
A brave little boy, heartbroken yet wild.
The love you deserved, you had not known,
But your smile, my boy, always shone,
When I heard you needed a stable place,
My tears fell, we knew stepping into this race.
I knew I was made to be your mother,
To cherish and love you like no other,
I couldn't bear to miss a single day,
Watching you grow, guiding your way.
And now, here we stand, the day is here,
You're turning 18, I hold both joy and fear,
Off to adventures, wild and grand,
A path unknown, but guided by His hand.
I have faith in your leadership and grace,
In the choices you'll make in life’s race,
It's hard to let go, my sleep may be lost,
But you are strong Jay, you know the cost.
Step out, no fear cause you walk in the light,
Go and explore, chase after what's right,
You’re made whole, your future secure.
Son, I’m here, no matter what you endure.
Love you,
Mom
“I’m not ready for the teen years! I don’t know how you do it.”
I hear it all the time. But, parenting teenagers can be a challenge, but it doesn't have to be scary. Understanding the unique emotions they face as they transition from childhood to adulthood is crucial. By maintaining strong connections, we can guide teens through this new and sometimes intimidating phase of life. I have been thinking around what has helped us get here. Knowing our journey was one of adoption, changed birth order and homeschooling, I still think there are some things that apply to all parents.
I want to offer 5 focuses for parenting teens and fostering their journey towards independence.
1. Listen with intention:
One of the most important things you can do as a parent of a teenager is to listen to them with genuine interest and attention. Teens often have a lot on their minds, and by providing them a safe space to express their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, you create a foundation of trust and understanding.
2. Set clear boundaries:
While teens crave independence, they still need structure and guidance. Establishing clear and consistent boundaries helps them understand expectations and develop a sense of responsibility. By setting limits, you allow them to experiment within safe boundaries and make choices while learning from their mistakes.
3. Model healthy relationships:
Teens learn a great deal from observing their parents' behavior. By modeling healthy, respectful, and loving relationships in your own interactions and marriage, you provide them with a blueprint for building healthy relationships of their own. Show them the importance of communication, empathy, and compromise.
4. Encourage independence:
As teenagers strive for independence, it's essential to encourage them to develop their own identity and strengths. Support their interests, passions, and goals, and provide them with opportunities to make decisions and take on responsibilities. Embrace their individuality while offering guidance and support along the way.
5. Stay engaged:
Remaining actively involved in your teen's life is crucial. Show interest in their activities, hobbies, and friendships. Attend their events, ask about their day, and engage in open conversations. By staying engaged, you demonstrate that you care and are there to support them through the ups and downs of adolescence. They may act like they don’t want your input but they are very insecure and self doubting when left alone in decisions. There is a balance between believing in them and offering wisdom and ideas online the way.
Parenting teenagers can be both challenging and rewarding. By maintaining strong connections with your teens, you can navigate this exciting and transformative period together. Remember, parenting is a journey, and every teen is unique. Embrace the joys and challenges, and watch your teen grow into a confident and independent young adult. If you are still scared know their story isn’t finished.
Blessings
