Transforming Us Project:
A Shared Journey Of Pattern Awareness
DID YOU EVER NOTICE…. YOUR PAIN, BECOMES OUR PATTERNS?
"If our wounds go unhealed, we will distribute our woundedness to others. Pain that isn't healed is hurled in every direction." Dr. Chuck DeGroat (author of Healing What’s Within)
UNWINDING PATTERNS
By Jess Vangsnes
A wound left wide,
a pattern spun,
A hurried race never won.
You feel the pull,
the anxious ache,
The old, familiar moves you make.
But here are some maps,
a hidden key,
To break the cycle,
and become free.
To pause and breathe,
to know your part,
build a boundary with your heart.
No longer captive,
cluttered in vines and weeds,
You find your true,
authentic seeds.
Your truth is spoken,
the spirit leads,
Finding…
the person you were made to be.
The Journey Starts Here: Enneagram, Attachment Theory, and Finding Your Paths to Secure Relationships
Hello Friends,
Jess here. For nearly four years, I've been doing the work I feel God has gifted me to do—quietly, intentionally, one individual at a time, completing more training and allying my tools to my relationships as well. Here and ready to expand. Being honest, stepping into a more public space has brought its own set of fears, a battle with imposter syndrome that has tried to keep me small. But Christ has been faithfully at work on my capacity and security, and I am now convinced of this.. The only true loss would be for people not to know about the tools and insights I've collected in order to help others find their way from here to there, whatever that looks like for them.
I am someone who sees. I truly want to know where you are in your journey, and to lend you some tools along the way. And my good friend Tamara is very much the same type of helper. That’s what coaching is about— SEEING. A partnership in creating the life you hope for, and a friendship that can celebrate with you when you every time you step closer toward it. It is always an honor to be an empathetic witness to the process of another, doing their work.
The foundation of Transforming Us Project is built on understanding ourselves and our patterns. Our unique coaching approach is deeply rooted in two powerful frameworks that, together, create a comprehensive roadmap for wholeness: the Enneagram and Attachment Theory.
LETS LOOK AT THESE SYSTEMS TOGETHER AND HOW I HAVE CREATED A WAY TO USE THEM TOGETHER!
A New Professional Website!
Featuring some incredible FREE downloads too…
The Enneagram: Unlocking Your God-Created Self
The Enneagram is so much more than a personality test. As a comprehensive psychological and spiritual framework, it’s a powerful map to your inner world. It helps you understand the specific patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that drive you—your core motivations, fears, and desires. For me, it's not about putting people in a box or a label, but about liberating you to live more authentically and to truly understand your God-created self. It’s a tool to be used wisely for self-discovery, not for typing others or excusing bad behavior. If you’re curious about what number you are, or how to integrate this knowledge into your life, I offer typing interviews and resources to help you begin this journey.
Attachment Theory: The Root of Connection
Equally transformative is Attachment Theory, which helps us understand why we show up the way we do in our most important relationships. This framework illuminates the core patterns we developed in our earliest relationships. Have you ever felt anxious when your partner pulls away, seeking constant reassurance? Do you tend to prioritize space and avoid emotional intimacy when things get too close? Do you have unpredictable reactions based on each relationship and how they are making you feel? Understanding whether you lean toward a secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearfulattachment patterns is the first, crucial step toward transformation. The beautiful news is this: any insecure attachment can uncover a secure one through new skills and practice.
The 7 Skills to Shift: Your Roadmap to Wholeness
These frameworks give us the insight, and my coaching offers the practical tools to create real change. With my incredible friend and fellow coach, Tamara Brown, we’ve distilled our years of experience into what we call the 7 Skills to Shift. Think of these as your roadmap to deeper connection and inner peace. These are the foundational habits we've seen make the biggest difference in cultivating secure, thriving relationships. Skills like Thought Observation (learning to see our thoughts without being swept away by them), Verbal Processing (cultivating a voice that communicates needs without fear), and Emotional Awareness (expanding our emotional vocabulary and regulation) are at the heart of this work. In addition we teach Somafic processing, Positive Reframing,
With a spirit-led faith at the core, I’ve found that true healing happens when we feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure in a relationship. My training in nervous system regulation has shown me that when we learn to regulate our own systems, we create a safe space for others to heal, too. This is the very heart of the work we’ve built.
Here is Your Invitation for the Launching of Our New Podcast!
We really want you to join us.
We are so excited to officially share our collaborative project: Transforming Us. Tamara Brown [coach and artist friend] and I are now ready to serve you and many more, with these tools, and we are asking for your help to spread the word.
Our new website, TransformingUs.org, is officially live! On it, you will find several free assessments and guides to help you begin this work, including our 7 Skills to Shift Assessment.
And that’s not all! Get ready to dive deeper with us on the Transforming Us Podcast, officially launched Wednesdays each week, Tamara and I will explore topics designed to help you cultivate secure and thriving relationships. We’ll be delving into some of the following topics:
Host stories as friends and coaches and a little about our families.
Exploring different Attachment Patterns in Relationships, and how they impact your connections.
An Enneagram Primer, helping you understand the core motivations and fears of each type.
The 7 Skills to Shift patterns in your relationships, offering practical practices that produce real change.
The fascinating Overlap of Enneagram and Attachment, revealing how these two systems intertwine.
Practical Paths to Security in your patterns that affect relationships and self compassion.
Parts Work through the lens of both the Enneagram and Attachment theory, offering powerful tools for inner emotional work.
CLICK HERE TO EXPLORE EPISODES
We’re also thrilled to be featuring incredible special guests who are experts in these fields, including:
Tyler Zach, the creator of the very popular Ennea summits, author, former pastor, and Enneagram coach.
Christa Hardin MA, a therapist, coach, the creator of Enneagram and Marriage, author, and podcast host.
Dr. Chuck DeGroat, therapist, professor, church consultant, author, soul care facilitator, and former pastor.
Scott Allender, an author, business leader, facilitator post cast host and Enneagram master.
And many more valuable voices!
This podcast will feel like having two trusted friends offering practical tools and heartfelt wisdom right in your ear.
The work on patterns we do has a direct impact to your behaviors. People who have done this "pattern work" are easy to spot: they pause before reacting, feel their anger without letting it become a weapon, and say "I was wrong" without collapsing in shame. You’ll know them not by their perfection, but by their presence—and when you’re around them, your nervous system says, "We’re safe here."
Signs you might be transforming…
Pause before reacting-because they've met their triggers before.
Speak truth without needing to dominate the room.
Feel their anger without letting it become their weapon.
Say "I was wrong" without collapsing in shame.
Set boundaries without closing their hearts.
Be soft without being passive.
Be wise without needing to be right.
If this resonates with you, or with someone you know who might be feeling lost or stuck, please share this newsletter, the podcast, or our website! We’d love to connect more people to our community.
Ratings & Reviews Helps Us Grow & Serve Others
And as a special thank you for your support, subscribe to the Transforming Us Podcast in August or September, and If you leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform, (email us here the screen shot) you will be entered into a drawing to receive a custom piece of art, plus a free set of our exclusive assessments, and a complimentary Patterns Coaching session with me. (Jess)
This is my way of celebrating this new chapter and partnering with you on your journey. With immense gratitude and excitement for what’s to come.